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Wednesday, 29 December 2010

the last working day of 2010

today is the 30 - a thursday, the last working day in 2010.

yay! the best time to bid bye to the year's worklife blues ;). and why is this blog showing a day behind!? is it uk-timed? just incase you are thinking where i am based at the moment. it is dubai. and yes our weekend starts today. we have fridays and saturdays as opposed to saturdays and sundays as weekly offs in this part of the world. as i type this line, i neck over the screen of my computer and the gleaming burj khalifa. yes, am exactly located in the heart of dubai's buisnessy self that is the sheikh zayed road.

tday i have read two disturbing news articles. one that says that expats are a threat to uae's national identity [an old news given that it has been making rounds in our mail boxes from dec 26 onwards] and another one that asks whether 2011 see a war in the middle east because obama has not done enough between israel and iran.

world politics, local politics or office politics... its all very disturbing if you get your mind to it. as they say charity begins at home. i am guessing possibilities for a new beginning far away from all this.... guess it is a good idea to stop politics at home by being at home totally... carry the spirit to office... by being at home there for whatever while you may have to put up with politically worried souls. carry that spirit out into the malls and parks - to your locality. be at home even if a few people might want to remind you its their home more than it is yours [excuse me!]. and carry the same spirit anywr else you may travel... be at home. when u go there in the mind... u go there in the body... and visa versa... let us attract just the desirable good things into our lives. i also got an interesting mail from a friend who is from Philippines and she says they have a custom of keeping 7 round fruits on display on their dinning table on the new year's eve and hang a bunch of grapes on the door - these are good omens apparently. delightful at the thought of round fruits and a colourful platter... am going to take one good thought form her tradition and hang a bunch on my door tomorrow. :) new year deserves newer thoughts - i am opening my arms by driving home the homely thoughts in a home away from home.

Healthy and happy oats puttu and steamed banana

The recipe is a simple one that you can dish out as dinner on a busy working night: take a cup of atta, a cup of oats, add some salt and freshly grated coconut and wet it it like any puttu. now chop a banana [the hard variety from kerala]. fill the cylindrical puttu steamer with layers of fresh coconut, puttu flour, chopped banana, some more puttu flour and fresh coconut. layer in the same order for a visually delightful cylindrical cake that it will be.... once steamed for 10 minutes.

this is like the most healthiest finds i have made so far. also the tastiest among the health-centric menu.

for my hubby who likes non-veg, i fried a few pieces of soft chicken sausages [vienna]... and he was more than happy.

am not going to pen a line that sounds like we must have both what we like and what is healthy to feel satiated. but i guess this line merits its existence here. i feel grated coconut and banana makes me feel happy anyway... so this healthy find is a happy find!

Monday, 27 December 2010

the chase

it was a dream i saw last night. perhaps this should have been the last line of the blog to keep the suspense but that is not my objective of penning it down.

well, there is this sri lankan, tamil speaking family in the UK, some where. i am living with them holed up in a small. chawl-like room. its heavy winters [not that i saw snow outside]. the husband is the sleepy, obese sort. the daughter is a chirpy teenager who is a wanabe porn star. i am not kidding here, the mom and daughter are always talking of her next 'o so important' casting. they don’t speak of porn as porn, but I understand it anyway. i have a feeling they where talking to me also to give it a try. sheesh! i dont know how i managed to see/understand this part of the disgusting dream. well, so what happened was that, i decided to leave this sheepish, sleepy family and as luck would have it, i sneak out, saying i need to make a local call from the std-booth close by.

then i scuttle through the gallis [in the UK] and find this old artist friend of mine... who has a huge basement to herself to paint or sculpt etc.

this friend is also a teenager. mind you i am also a teenager [in the dream]. she knew i needed help. she helped me hide behind her canvases, just when we could hear her mom yell out for her. it was school time.

and then she left as we exchanged giggles [what the f***].

i could feel some elderly men coming for us. probably just me. they knew i was hiding somewhere there. they opened the door and searched every where. ofcourse they did not find me. i was cleverly hiding behind the canvas!

and when they left, i changed my hiding place. and just as i switched to this new place, they open the door again but i guess they did not see me again... i could faintly hear deepu saying - its already 6.45am... we have to hurry.

it was time to get out of the bed, do susu-potty, bathe and run.

and the day has begun. i have taken a whole-headed bath after 10-days of celebrating the wretched viral, that has left me sick-looking in my bday and xmas pics [so says my sis from Singapore].

the sun is bright and i can feel my chin melting [the chin has two old pimples or are they just zits!?]... the day is good...and thankfully so so better than the stupid cock and bull dream!

Saturday, 25 December 2010

coal to newcastle

coals to Newcastle

ramu uncle was the man whom i was not very close to while growing up. he has a sweet smile but a very intellectual look that made me resist from talking too much 'to be corrected all the time' may be.

this time when i was in delhi, i met and spoke with ramu uncle and i felt he is such a great source of wisdom. i had good reasons to stop missing my maman, who was my only jocular relief to greater wisdom in life. maman is... god knows where in the world.

so ramuuncle and me got to exchange our view points on our favourite subjects that included my mom, his family and kids... art and life... partnership, job, cities, travelling. we exchanged so many thoughts and thus we are chain mail friends... who send atleast a mail everyday.

i have the habit of sending a tftd [thoughts for the day] to my close circle of friends [that include not-sp-strictly-close friends also ;)]. i send one thought from my thoughts calendar for the day and add another recent thought that i must have come across while reading an interview or some article somewhere.

ramu uncle was added to this list too. and it happened so that i found many wise lines from his mails to me. that i tftd-ied. and he thought that i was up to so some prank. frankly i was not.

when his lines changed to others many that i kept adding everyday... he realised it was just a harmless hobby i had. and then he said "he did not know he was carrying the coal to Newcastle". i guess it is the best complement i have got in the last 30 years of meagre existence.

i am laughing to myself already.

floating ptc... merry xmas and all

it was always a wish. to give my ptc - piece to camera - even during those days i was sent off chasing the frenzied cricket fans in mumbai while working as a journalist in star news - a 24 hr channel.

so when star came to cover me as an artist journo at my second solo in dilli. i was overjoyed at the changing times. previously ptcs helped me give my conclusion to the story that i must have just reported/presented. this time, it was different. tv makes you feel like you really have something worth the while to chat about. exactly! it makes u feel extra important.

was i lasking attention that i felt this way in front of the camera that was rolling!? i wasnt too sure. i can never be too sure of anything really. the reason why i am gliding like a cloud... or floating on a pool. so susceptible to change. unresisting. mind bogglingly unresisting.

and what was that i said? it included things like : we must all exress ourselves. find time with ourselves. while i am doing these [reference to the paintings in the back ground] i am actually finding that time - that time with myself." couldn’t i have said anything better!? i mean there were so many good things i had in mind. why did they choose just this out of the many i said.

hah! never mind. like amma says i should take myself a little more seriously and the talking to the media has to be well-drafted... perhaps the next time!?

hah! the next time.

i am in a very susceptible mood to be sarcastic today. after all that xmas partying last weekend - am back in form to bash myself up again after the extra binging that i have done. i am so damn susceptible to all this crap. time to change. time to think of a new year's resolution like ordinary people who live happy lives.


Thursday, 23 December 2010

the buffet of life

just back in my seat after a sumptuous buffet at the neighbouring atrium. it costs just 25dh so a fresh lime juice with mint for 8dh doesn hurt anyway :). it is criminal to stay awake after a tummy full of yummy food. yes it is. yawn! and you cant even yawn at work - they say. to top it there is a mail from the hr saying that the december increment will be paid along with the january!? sigh! well so much for the hungry - what else can i say. like arun uncle says its best 'not to' say do think... and start the very chain process of getting the results of all that thought or action. inaction is the key word. inactivity, to be precise. an if u haven’t guessed it already - i am good at giving headlines... just that sometimes the stories doesn’t match up to the drama that is stirred in there :) lol

ask and it is given

what is there to ask?

and what is that that will be given?

the clouds glide through my window

the golden pothos have heart-shaped leaves

the xmas tree is plastic

the light on them blink bright

the sun is shining

the sand is gleaming bright

what are they asking for?

and what do they get in return?


and am back!!!

That is always the case isn’t it? when you see something undone for a long time you just wonder whatever the hell you have been upto that it is not done. lol! here is the classic thought that comes to my mind aftre months of ignoring my blogging attempt that i thought i will always keep doing no matter what. ok enough of the rant that is old and almost repetitve when you compare my many posts where i have come back to say the same thing that i must keep writing no matter what. so here i am just a couple of days away from xmas. this year the xmas was special cos my sister was in town in the first week of this month as we put the xmas tree together after almost a decade. last year we were mourning the demise of my husband's grand mom who was so so dear. this month is also special cos i finally did the pending painting exhibition. i showcased 21 of my works in delhi's india habitat centre for four days. it is sort of an achievement - i have achieved plenty of pointers to work on. i have also made a new mature friendship with an odd person whom i never thought i must catch-up so often and on topics that where untouched for lack of attentive like minds previously. so merry as is the seoson... am merrily forgiving my lack of diligence to keep up regular blogging. the next post is gona be a poem. stay glued! :)

Saturday, 11 September 2010

underground authority

they r rockers from calcutta who performed on 'india has got talent' episode tday. i loved their stuff. they rapped into bollywood numbers but it totally made good and unique entertainment. india truly has got talent. the only thing i cant digest too well abt rappers is their obsession with the groin-centric steps... ever since mj put his hand there when he screamed... everyone does!!! like the judge mr sallu observed that it really felt like the 'stuff' will detach from between the legs and that is probably why they need to hold it from falling off!!!
anway hats off to their music. i loved it. i am sure they will do a good job if they keep their talent. unlike what most indians do when they join the regular rat race of making money, love... etc ;)

Tuesday, 7 September 2010

my pillars of sanity @ dilli meri jaan

its almost 10 days after i am back form my recent visit to dilli. and almost a month after i posted my last rambling. i am attempting to get over something that is offering me no resistence. its a funny feeling, only i should understand.
anyway i bought a few books while shopping at the new t3's explore... and amazingly i have chanced upon gurcharan das's latest wonder - the difficulty of being good. it really explains why flaws are perfect and how an imperfect world has a perfect reason to exist. am only 20 per cent through, and am loving it.
dilli this time has been wonderful. met up with my two best friends - my pillars of sanity...after a long time away from our husbands and current lives. we painted the city red, despite rains. all that common wealth realted digging was going on and there was bad traffic too... but there was no time for all that when the ladies got together...and there was no business but fun!
missing nidhi n amita eternally. when u meet u miss more. it is exactly like what they say - when u taste the good stuff u will want more... but i can hold the next break for a while now. cos i just had an awesome time.
my dilli is evergreen with my longing to be there again and again... growing green and deeper in me.

Saturday, 7 August 2010

4 people who must blog

simi, vinu, mini, amita... are 4 people who must blog. they are open to expressions, life and comprehension... and thus they must.
must - because they will miss what they think, feel and hold right now... as life changes by the second. what they have shot off as a mail, a word doc or a picture album... can be lost... a blog can stay... i donno y i over estimate the scope of internet when my instincts say that u must blog than waste ur stuff here and there.
what is this stuff? it is purely life and thoughts. the most valuable... the most common. common sense is rare rt!? so, hence, therefore - just blog it ppl... my fav 4 who must blog. must must blog. i hav been telling em ... will keep telling em to start doing that. ya it is a bad habit to advice... but u can afford to be ur bad/stupid self to a few good all-time ppl... like the four i mention here. yes i mean it. i love the idea of promoting em... provoking em to stay as good as they promise as they are... its just a holy timepass i love to engage in when life sucks for a few second every hr! ;)


that is like to be able to float like a feather... or lay calm in the pool as the boyancy throws u up and down in its own ebb and flow as the wind decides. what i am haunted these days is qt evident from the title.... the ever increasing wt gain... it might seem like a big deal to know i weight a complete 60 kilos... to anyone else other than me... i was just abt 42 kilos most of my adulthood... being the thinnest in the house was much a worry to my maternal grand mother... she used to sneak in ghee into everything that i ate. and i used to hate eating those days. i thought it was a such a mundane chore to eat and then sit down to throw it out everyday in the morning. hmmm. those days are over. now i love the aroma of ghee and probably that explains being a complete 60!

am an artist and i love the idea of freedom so much that i philosphise everything arnd the idea of a life that is free... weightless... and thus be able to float in a dream... that result in some poem... a painting... or something more profound than that. i love the idea of being able to fly... in thoughts. they say if u r there in the mind then u will get there in the body. so will i get back to my lean self... if i imagine myself flying weightless?... that is debatable... cos finally we are all weightless... hindu life make it easier to rise out of the ashes and stay weightless... but i am actually talking abt getting back to leaner days. i wish i do... sincerely i do wish that. i do not like diets. i do not like falling sick... in otherwords i wish to get back to my best form - as simple and complicated as that sounds... in health and related happiness ;)... the 'eternal kick' that u get while browsing thru ur nice pics... i really miss that these days... though it is until recently i knew how to pose for a good picture... just that my figure isnt as flattering as it was when i was shot in my non-posy self. lol! life is such a miss... we grow and we miss! everydamn thing that was good is cherished when we barely have it anymore.

i think it is perfect to feel that way when u have gained as much as i have... on the weighing scale... or otherwise in this stupid life... which keeps me on a foolish hope that it will turn bright someday...hah!

Monday, 26 July 2010


that is what we don’t have most of the time. that is what differentiates the ordinary from the extra ordinary. discipline is the reason why one can write everyday. it ie not mere interest or convenience but real discipline to sit and do that bit out of the way... as was thought.
i love to behave in an organised manner. nothing more annoying than an unorganised adult... i have thought many times. but i have many dear friends who doesn give a damn abt being organised in the self or their schedules but are gems to be with.
i think most organised ppl have some ocd or the other. i mean obsessive compulsive disorder... like cant stand that crease… cant stand that dirt… cant stand that some shabby nothing.. the list is endless.
i remember reading this article by some scientific feature agency saying that the most organised people/celebs including martha stewart wr those who also wr found guilty to organised scams.
well if u are organised u might as well organise the crime also well right? being organised is not a crime its actually a virtue…but i don’t understand why such biased studies on not-being organised be talked about by scientific journals. no wonder they say that even the devil can quote the bible. such is the world.
it is interesting to read that the ugly is the new pretty and red is the new black and so on…newspaper jargons have now been replaced by such amusing phrases. so perhaps being not organised is what is in fashion.
somebody who was told that he looks unkempt says that it is the way he likes it. so perhaps there is more to being unorganised…mmm much to catchup on that.

Saturday, 20 March 2010

Critical openness

We all talk about a million things but no one really is open to self criticism. It is always the other, that we all are worried about. The scams, the scandals and a whole world of controversies that feature celebs, politicians and others who might be talked about in different contexts. Though gossip is a good mode to unwind, it should not always be the only resort. Why cant we just dwell deeper and fix those things that we lack at common place. Like, the ability to be able to smile to one another when we greet eachother in the morning or call up to respond to a missed call.

I think we are stressed mostly because we are constantly complaining about what others have in this relative world... and losing sleep over what we lack instead of looking at what we truly behold. I feel that a lot of us have just choose a sad life that we narrate it as and taht it is little to do with our real fates and circumstances because we fail to see what we have got within ourselves. i think i just repeated the point in just another words.

When they crib about a denied holiday due to personnel crisis, we are overlooking the fact that it is our presence that is being lauded.

The ability to be truly cosmopolitan and thus be able to talk to the whole mighty large world of people [ridiculous use of superlatives here!], actually comes from the enthusiasm of understanding the smallest of the small: the individuality of each person.

I know of a lot of people who ruffle up for the wrong reasons and are always under the impression that they are being watched. The trouble is that there is a lot of intolerance in our society which is superficially cosmopolitan. we unknowingly put the other in the defense then there is no way an argument can be avoided rt!?

Thats ending abruptly... cos am busy... and rude! perhaps time for some self criticism... ok bye!

Tuesday, 2 February 2010

Happy Thursday

Happy Thursday is such a phenomenon.

Like most of us who work all week long, I also restlessly wait for this one day. And here it is already 16.22pm on right edge of my screen on a Thursday evening truly giving me an unstoppable reason to smile about. It makes me happy to think about getting up late on Friday to do whatever I please at my own pace.

I am reminded of this witty, lazy and unemployed protagonist in a regional movie where he says that he is dying to find a job after which he will apply for a vacation and relax at home. I think we all are vacation starved all the time.

I cannot think of a single person, who hates the idea of taking a break. Ofcourse there are workaholics everywhere but am sure it is their secret ambition to take a break and run off somewhere and have fun.

It is truly a delight to wait for this much deserved weekend off – whether it is a day or two. I assume this excitement is also one of the main reasons that there are so many weekend getaway offers all over the place - despite recession which is believed to ruin holiday plans.

My friends who are homemakers are perhaps lucky to have all the time in the world. They even lose track of days as any day is as good as a Friday for them. But the hard-earned Friday is so special. There is nothing that sounds good during a working week when someone nudges ‘so what plans for weekend’.

This is perhaps one of the reasons why some people get very possessive of what they want to do on a Friday - their precious off-day.

I know of this friend of mine, put a revolver on her head, but she will never divulge her Friday plans. Crazy right! But then she so deserves it after a very hectic week with10-hour day shift from Sunday to Thursday. She is then in no mood to socialise or waste time on her precious Friday. I guess she must probably be sleeping her heart’s full.

The Happy Thursday phenomenon doesn’t apply fully to those of us on a weekend-shift job. But if you notice the happiness will be seen migrating to Monday, Sunday or Wednesday, whenever the company has slotted the week-off. If someone is really happy (without a hike in the salary or a promotion news) during a weekday, now you know it is his working week that is coming to a close. The other only reason for weekday cheer perhaps can be the thought of the fast approaching annual leave. How we all wait for it, all the time.

I love holidays anytime (as many times), but prefer the regular weekend than the annual vacation which makes you run all over your affairs back home and come back almost broke after all those extra holiday spending.

I seriously look forward to the coming of Thursday, from Sunday onwards. It is a delight to plan the coming weekend while you take a break at your desk. It helps you stay positive all week to do the job in hand with a cheer that is so weekend bound.

This Friday, should it be barbeque at the park or a swim in by the beach? The weather is so inviting to have fun outdoors, it is best to go out and have pure joy than spend my hard-earned money on that ad-driven free coupon for the second meal at a fancy restaurant. What say!? So what plans for the weekend?

Wednesday, 27 January 2010

shamelessly agian

some people never change... ya it is me again i am referring to... it was a promise...jeez...and look at me again...shamelessly into the new year and completely forgot to blog. thank you roona... if you din ask me to send u my blog link i would have never come back sooner ...tks again. roona u gave me the crisper blu name...and now it is making a lot of noise in my new life called 'blu's own'...yippie that is the name i have given to digital collection of my works...
ok i have a qt a bit to say ...mmm most importantly that i have started painting again and feel very alive these days. thanks to me again...that i snapped out of my thining mode for the last 4 years...thinking nothing really great in particular if you ask me.
yesterday we [me and deepu] marked 4 yrs of togetherness as they say 'man n wife' in bible ;). i wud slap anyone who says marriage is no bliss... ya but then not everyone is married to deepu...may be thats y ;). i excuse ok!
i have started reading bigb's blog too...once in a while...and then i go reading back his previous posts...and the previous and te previous if it is a comparatively free day at work...and thus sort of know what the man is upto in his head...and he is petty interesting...i don miss my nanaji as much nowadays...cos he fill into that void pretty well!
by the way last year i made some new friends and lost a few too... but i guess u never lose friends who are truly friends...perhaps it was just some weeding out that happened and i don brood anymore...cos i am glad whatever happens...happens for good anyway.
i must mention that my sis who is the greatest critic in my life said that my 'white forest' was better than van gogh's! poor her or is it poor me...anyway i could feel a new chill of thrill climb up my spine when she said that...and it was perhaps something similar to what the enlightened feel when they get nirvana...ok that is a bit too much of the bull crap for now...he he...good night

Friday, 1 January 2010

If they can, why can't you?

This is something we are fighting everyday in this slump-laden competitive world, which is running at a mad pace since the recession bells rang last year.

I was venturing into thoughts on what is provoked or evoked when you are in comparison, and if it has done anyone any good.

It was perhaps the comparison with my neighbour's kid who always topped the class while I managed to crawl past the red line that pushed me to fare better in academics. Comparisons are the perfect old-school method to help you get that push to forge ahead. But we need to snap out of this habit as we are living in a society which is swelling in numbers with victims of comparison.

Comparison is a crime - especially with minds vulnerable of being demoralised.

A friend who resigned her high-profile job last year is now finding it difficult to find an appropriate break. Her dad asked her why she can't find a job when so many people are managing to get one. He was almost blaming the recession on her. She feels doomed as this actually came when the father figure was expected to stand strong by her side than point a finger.

The most miserable comparison I have heard recently was when a cousin called after a heart-breaking interview. The HR manager asked him rudely why he wanted a higher pay, especially when the market was full of unemployed wannabes. How do you tackle a comparison like this, especially at an interview? I could only console him saying that it is good that he did not get into the company that could ruin his self-esteem.

A college student asked for a mobile phone and his parents snapped back saying they never got one at that age. A mobile is not a big deal today, but everyone is downsizing, even families that are well-off are looking at cheaper alternatives to meet expenses. So it was very convenient for them to excuse themselves citing old days. This comparison is less troublesome than the HR manager's response because the perpetrators happen to be his family who is looking after him.

Another friend has a weird problem born out of comparison. His wife compares his salary with others’. He is a sales executive fighting a dull market where no one wants to spend. His boss passes down the higher management’s bashes on non-performance saying - if other companies are still making profit, how come we are not? There is nothing more you can do other than nod in understanding when we hear such painful accusations.

If you keep the recession aside and look at the ads that you have been seeing all the while, you will find that the world actually runs on the comparative phenomenon. He wears that perfume and has all the hot chicks running after him. His shirt is whiter because he uses that brand of washing powder. He gets promoted because he drives that car. She gets world fame because she uses that hair colour. He scores higher in class because he drinks that carton of milk. I could not help wonder at the m-ad world.

Introspective comparison of one's own experiences, performances and abilities are the best way to go about when comparisons become inevitable. This exercise not only encourages a phoenix-like redemption but also does away with the meanness of envy and jealousy that rises from looking elsewhere to get compared. The slowdown should only help us look deep within ourselves and see what we truly hold.

May be we could tell Obama to inspire and compare America with its own fading glorious past than scare the wits out of the new generation by threatening them with the competition and seizure of its fame by Asia, or for that matter, the rest of the world.