Tuesday, 5 June 2007
its not ever as yet
when the itch is stronger u dig deep. to spill it all. i remember i had a pen pal...one of my classmates during college days with whom i shared a lot of thoughts on 'blankness'...thoughts that went ambling from one corner to no corner...we used to mail eachother during annual leaves. my letter would weigh 150 gms and hers wud weigh almost same...but she used to write more as her handwriting had less leading space (leading is a typical terminology used by editors who curn the space between words to fit a document into the page plan). and she had wilder findings....like she once kept me thinking on what wud be there is there was no planet no space...and what was there beyond it. o m g! i thought and thought and reached no wr as usual...but it was qt a winding thought. it exhausted or refreshed me like after a roller coaster ride or appu columbus ride rather. i used to call her sanki (short form for sangeeta or literally in hindi it means the mad one). she as my soul soup finder...for qt some time. i thought she wud still be thoughtful...until she popped in a funny question just after my marriage "when r u planning to have babies"...o m g! i couldn believe marital bliss cause so much damage to her...as she was married and 'settled' (read it and understand it like the regular indian in terms of household chores and domesticity that brings women closer to kitchen than career). i wasn aware of her for sometime i guess as our lifes took us on different oaths after college. but she is still v dear to me. though i have let distance creep between us for teh better of the two...the two of us and the other two we have in our lives now (in her case 2 and a half as she has a lil one) and let her be in the paradise that she describes she best fits in. i am happy for her and myself...as we r frnds who grew apart but are grown ups in our own findings abt life. our worlds do not think the way we used to once upon a time. the bottom line is we r happy anyways....and the gap doesn really exist as much as i remember last time we caught up...we caught up on something absolutely new and fresh and not like nostalgic old best pals wood generally do with lingering good old memories. and still the conversation was worth the while.